Die Young.

Apparently I'm getting old.

On Friday, when I finally got near home after leaving for work 13 hours earlier, I stopped in at Subway and ordered a footlong Italian BMT sub. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, so I was kind of hungry. Sandwich in hand I went next door to CVS to get a 6-pack of Busch, but instead I decided on the 12-pack in case my roommates wanted some as well. We drink cheap beer at the homestead. Figured I'd spend my evening eating some food, drinking some beer, rocking some tunes, and correcting some photographs.

I ate the whole sub, drank half a beer, and went to bed about an hour and a half after getting home.

Lame.

Fast forward to Saturday night and the exact same thing is happening. This time, I got through two beers before the sweet, silent call of sleep started permeating my thoughts. I've resisted it's delicious call though. Cracked open a VanderMill Blue Gold cider to switch things up a bit. Not sure it's going to do the trick, but at least no one can say I didn't try.

I suppose all this bullshit not being able to drink some beer and crank some tunes and enjoy my evening   is the fault of my work schedule, which forces me out of bed sometime between 5:30 am and 6:00 am. For those of you who know me, I'm sure you can understand why this is problematic. Me no likey wake up and me no likey go to sleep. But I gotta do what I gotta do in order to pay some of these bills that keep piling up. Oh sure, I'll give you $415 for a party I told you I wasn't able to pay for at the time. I'll get right on that. You want $200 for a fantasy baseball league in which half my team was on the disabled list to start the year and ended with me selling off most of my good players in order to start a rebuild. Okay. Oh missed some tolls because you thought your friend had an I-Pass in her car? That'll be $300 please. Lord knows what will be next.

Life was much easier when I was unemployed, but as I told a friend recently, loyalty to your financial provider just doesn't matter all that much in America these days. I was loyal. I was a great receiver of that unemployment money. I cashed that check every single time I got it. Every single time! Not once did I forget. Complete loyalty and what did they do? Cut my pay. Not once, but twice over the course of a few months. And still I cashed the checks. I didn't call up and complain. I didn't quit and try to get the money elsewhere. I stayed on, loyal as can be. And then...it just stopped. They stopped sending me money for no reason at all, forcing me to find other means to get by. I gave them months and months and more months of constant loyalty and they kicked me off for some bullshit reason or another. I blame the democrats! Or is it the republicans?

I forget.

Either way, it's definitely not my fault. All I wanted to do was have some fun. What's so wrong with that? Ronnie James Dio can answer that question...

"So live for today, tomorrow never comes. Die young, die young, die young."

Spanish Midnight.

I wonder if my publicist would be amenable to a publicity tour in Latvia sometime this Autumn?

I wonder if this greek salad is the most enjoyable salad I've eaten since my last salad?

I don't know if there is enough water in this glass.

I wonder if Judas Priest was the appropriate musical decision after being sequestered in my bedroom quarters, so my selfish roommates can watch a Breaking Bad episode?

Honestly...I'm going to change it.

You don't understand how ashamed I feel at this moment in time. I am letting down 40+ years of the best heavy metal known to mankind.

I'll listen to Jackie by Sinead O'Connor. This is pretty ridiculously damn heavy in it's own way.

I've been on mostly a juice/salad diet for the past 6 days I think.

Two or three servings of juice per day.

Lots of water as well.

Freshly made juices with apples, cucumbers, red onion, celery, cabbage, beets, swiss chard, kale, oranges, ginger, lemon, carrots, tomatoes, and probably some other vegetables I'm forgetting.

I was sitting comfortably at my desk this afternoon when I sharted.

Of course I didn't know at first.

I knew when I stood up and felt the wetness seep through my buttocks.

You live you learn.

Hustled my ass to the bathroom and finished the shart.

Cleaned up.

Dried off.

Sat in my room in a clean pair of boxers for about 15 minutes before I had to quickly put my shorts on and get to the bathroom.

Brought my own roll of toilet paper this time as we were getting low.

"Ran down and the lady said it
It got torn down
And the priest just said it
It got burned
They give me five years, five years
It's my turn"

Well that's it for Sinead.

Anyway I've dropped 12 pounds in the last 6 days of this dietary adjustment.

I don't own a scale.

I purposely deceived you for the purpose of my enjoyment.

I am sorry.

Can you believe it's almost September?

Let's not discuss that as the end of summer is a very painful, depressing episode I endure each and every passing of the year.

Besides the Cubs and family and friends and the Bears and the pretty obvious coolness of Chicago, I should probably be somewhere else.

I have to ask myself where does the world need Dave most?

It's a difficult question, but I have to believe there is an answer.

Sucks that it's not an Obama rodeo clown, but that guy already took care of that.

I have to pee. BRB.

IABFBRB.

Who's up for a bit of T-Rex?

All of you, that's who!

And, if you're not, I'm sorry for your misinformed existence.

The end.

Bachelor Party Shenanigans Extravaganza!

We all made it out alive, so that's positive. Nothing else really needs to be said. 

Kind of low res files since there were so many of them. Click on the first one (after the movies) and they enlarge into a very convenient slideshow format. Enjoy.