Writing Prompts!

Not sure how I found this link, but someone out in the internet yonder posted this 365 Days of Writing Prompts, and I thought it would be a good resource for this here blog. Figured I could take some of the 365 topics and write about them, which is what I think they planned on all along. So...guess I proved them write. HA! See what I did there? 


Here's the link in case you want to take a gander...


http://dailypost.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/365-days-of-writing-prompts-1387477491.pdf


So just to help you along in your reading, assuming you've continued reading, the writing prompt is in bold, followed by a quick explanation. Below that you'll find my hilarious responses. Enjoy.

Fictional Elevator

You're stuck in an elevator with an intriguing stranger. Write this scene.

Me: Hello. 

Intriguing Stranger: (small nod)

One hour passes. 

Exit scene. 

Alternate extended encounter. 

Me: Hello. 

Intriguing Stranger: (small nod)

Me: Wasn't really planning on being stuck in an elevator all afternoon. 

Intriguing Stranger: I'm sorry, did you say something? 

Me: Just said that I wasn't really planning on being stuck in an elevator all afternoon. 

Intriguing Stranger: Yeah me neither. 

Me: Do you like plastic silverware? 

Intriguing Stranger: Huh?

Me: Do you like plastic silverware? 

Intriguing Stranger: Why are you asking me that? 

Me: I'll take that as a no. 

Intriguing Stranger: What? 

Me: By your response, I can see that you don't really like plastic silverware. 

Intriguing Stranger: How do you figure? 

Me: I don't figure, I calculate! (pulls out plastic spork and gouges out said Intriguing Stranger's eyes).

Elevator opens. 

Exit scene. 

Tagline

Often, our blogs have taglines. But what if humans did, too? What would your tagline be?

Peanut Butter Socks! 

Keep out

Who is the one person you hope isn’t reading your blog? Why?

As much as I miss both of my Grandmas, I'm happy they are unable to read this blog...at least in the physical realm. And it's not so much because I think they would take exception to some of the content, but because I couldn't take the gushing praise and constant adoration they would both send my way. I was pretty much the favorite grandchild for both of them, that's a pretty well known factoid in our family. Don't get me wrong, they both loved all their grandchildren, but it was obvious that I was their shining star, their fortunate one, their Elvis Presley, their as Christ is my saviour...David has descended straight from the heavens in order to shine light upon our collective weary souls. And I totally get that. I do. However, I still love all my brothers and sisters and cousins and whatnot, regardless of their shortcomings. They're good people. What my grandma's couldn't see in them (but saw all too easily in myself), I'll never know, as my heart is kind and loving and I only see the good in all. 





Kick it

What’s the 11th item on your bucket list?

11. Splurge and get yourself a new bucket at CVS.

(Message for my Mom. Please stop reading now.)

Call Me Ishmael

Take the first sentence from your favorite book and make it the first sentence of your post.

I can do better than this, I'll write out the whole first chapter of my favorite book, Jesus For Children.

"Stay where you are," said the young girl, "or I'll scream!"

"My name is Gabriel," said the tall stranger.

"Are you an angel?" asked Mary

"I have a message for you."

"You shouldn't go about surprising people," said Mary closing her book.

"Angels are for surprises," said Gabriel.

"I didn't know that," said Mary.

"You are one of God's favorites," said Gabriel. "He wants you to know that."

"Thank you for telling me."

"And he wants to ask you a favor. He wants you to be the mother of his child. The child the Scriptures speak of. The child that will save all the people of the world. Will you do God this favor?"

"Does he have to ask?"

"God always asks."

"He knows I read the Scriptures and will do what he asks."

"Blessed are you among women," said Gabriel, and the angel was gone. 

Yes, God did have to ask, thought Mary as she returned to her book, and yes, she would never say no. 

Holy balls is that creepy. I should probably just stop here, but that's pretty f'ng creepy, and I feel kind of obligated to talk about this sex trafficker, Gabriel, and his imposing bossman, who goes by the name of God. Seriously, what better way for men to get laid, than to ask women to believe in a God who wants you to procreate all the time. Ya can't say no, that's for sure! Do what you're asked. And if that asking happens to involve a bit of hanky panky in yer stanky, well that's alright, just pull that lambswool thong to the side a bit.


Perhaps I misinterpreted this scene, but I doubt it.


Sorry Mom, I couldn't resist that one. Hopefully you stopped reading like I warned you.

iPhone Photo Blogger Blog.

I'm not sure why I'm always fascinated by the amount of decay in the Chicago subway system, but I am. They should really figure out a way to give subway tours, especially while the trains are still running, but I'm sure that's a no-no since 9-11 and all. Don't want those terrorists learning the deep, dark secrets of our transit system. Kind of makes me think they should stop posting the transit maps all over the place. Plain and simple, they're just inviting an attack. 

There's a special place in my heart for Boston Baked Beans. I'm probably in the minority on this one, but what can I do? Old candy habits die hard.

Pretty swank motel over on Cicero, not too far from Midway. I imagine many travel weary folk reserve rooms here so they don't have too far to goo once they depart the airport.

This picture isn't all that good quality wise, but if you look closely over there on the left, that's Dan Buban on lead guitar showing off his hot licks and sleazy tricks! Doug Marks would be proud. I believe this was the first time I ever witnessed my brother playing live and he didn't disappoint. Reminded me of Nuno Bettencourt and Vito Bratta 69'ing while listening to Bang Tango's Pistol Whipped in the Bible Belt album.

I'm not sure who's to blame for Maxine picking up this nasty habit, though I imagine it was just a matter of time. I mean, hell, if you're going to eat Popeye's and get plastered on Evan Williams whiskey all the time, you might as well top it off with a few smokes.

Count the Daves! Count the Daves! Why aren't you counting the Daves? How many are there? Bet you don't know the answer. Trick question! There's only one. I went to school for printing, not gene splicing...or Jesus studies.

This is what I've been sort of waking up to...25 to 45 minutes after I actually wake up. It's the view from the Halsted Orange Line station. Well, it's one of the views, I suppose. You can choose to look whatever direction you want, but quite often this is how I choose to orient myself. Can anyone tell me what those rail cars are purposed for? I've never quite understood.

This one just goes to show that you can find beauty in the most unlikely places, even if you're programmed to not look for beauty anywhere. Sometimes it just slaps you upside the head and there's nothing you can do about it, except pull out your iPhone and take a picture.

Can you guess who was excited to see Judas Priest? That's right, these three were excited to see Judas Priest! There may also have been a fourth excited person, but I can't confirm nor deny those allegations, though I did fire my Deputy Chief of Staff just in case. 

Uh oh. Me make bad. Yeah it finally happened. Not only did I spend the last four days, of the first week of being 40, in much intestinal pain and watery craptitude, but I got in my first car accident as well. Not my fault. No one was physically injured. No one cried. Well my bosses may have shed a few silent tears, but I didn't notice. Perhaps it'll happen when the premium goes up? Good news is that the van still runs and I can still make the pickups and deliveries. The show must go on, right?