They can because they think they can.
Can what?
In order to remain young, one must change.
Damnit! I knew at one point or another one of these fortunes was going to slap me with some reality and demand some sort of response. I can't argue with this one. Change and I have usually been at odds through most of my life. There's something to be said for never changing. It's as if you're already dead, but still going through all the routine of normal life. Well, to each their own, but I'll be damned if I'm going to live my life that way...
I'm damned.
As the great Billy Joel sings...
But I know the game, you'll forget my name
And I won't be here in another year
If I don't stay on the charts.
I'm not really damned. I just threw that in because this blog needed a bit of drama. Also did you hear what happened to the housewife of Hinsdale?
Nothing.
Because nothing happens in Hinsdale. It's a joke. Get it? I didn't think so. Moving on...
You are very grateful for the small pleasures in life.
I am, actually, very grateful for the small pleasures in life. Because, almost always, small pleasures defined by myself, indicate candy. Small tiny pleasure piles of love. Oh sweet candy, how I need thee. We go back a long, long way my friend. My earliest memories of candy are at my Grandma's houses, where ornate glass bowls were routinely filled up with hard candies. Grandma Buban had the starlight mints, while Grandma Hogan branched out a bit more often into other exotic hard candy options with such exotic flavors as lime, cherry and, perhaps, even grape. These were the hard candies with the soft middles. Not sure they make those anymore, and I'm not sure I want them to make them anymore. That's one candy form I don't miss all that much.
But there's no denying the fact I like candy. To prove this to you, once and for all, I'd like to direct you to this video of myself, as a four year old, chewing gum I had scraped off the sidewalk. Okay there is no video, I lied, but the story is true. I'm not sure what I told my Mom, or how it transpired, but she figured it out eventually and probably a lot faster than I thought she would. Not that I was dubious of her investigative prowess, but I was, most likely, lost in a world of second-hand, already flavored-out, sidewalk chewing gum happiness.
It's the simple things.
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
When the fuck did hicks start writing for Chinese fortune cookie companies? Seriously, what the hell is this? If you ain't the lead dog? Life is like a dogsled team? Zero stars for my Yelp review of this restaurant. Food was good, but your fortune sucked. Zero stars. You can't go negative with the stars on Yelp, so I won't, but if I could, I'd strongly consider it.
As an aside, if you have the chance to eat in or get delivery from Apart Pizza in Lincoln Square, I can't recommend their creations enough. Been there three times to dine over the past year, and every time, it's been excellent. The Greek Salad is huge, ridiculously fresh, full of goodies besides lettuce and inexpensive for the portion size. Three people could split that and be completely sated, but there's still pizza on the way. The pizzas are thin crust and come in many varieties for the low, low cost of $10 per pizza. After eating that salad, I could eat about 2/3 of a pizza, so in the end, unless you're just a ravenous pig, the total for your meal is only about $30 for two and you still have some lunch leftovers the next day.
This is not the last you'll hear of Apart Pizza on this blog. The complete story remains untold.
But that is the last of the fortunes you will be reading about on this blog*.
*I reserve the right to change my mind as I have a many more fortune cookies to devour in order to provide you, my dear readers, with more fortune content.
What are your favorite fortunes? Whoever comments below with the best fortune wins one used ErasedChalkboard fortune, signed by me!
Good Day.
