https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQluT6QqMIc&t=23s
Saturday, March 21, 2020
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Enforced Fortunes
Hey...what's going on?
Listening to Nostradamus, you?
Wishing I was listening to Nostradamus.
You and everyone else, my friend. You and everyone else.
What better reason to write one of these old, familiar fortune cookie blogs, right?
Nostradamus was all about the fortunes.
Let's see, what do we have here...
Accident is the Mother of Invention
Okay...gonna start with that one, huh? Thanks.
Did you know the opposite of this phrase is "Invention of Mother the is Accident"? Remove one word and the result is what I would question, if I had a very thick Italian accent, Mike Pence about. "Invention of Mother is Accident"? Following immediately with "No?" I suppose after I got that one out of the way, I'd probably have thought of a few dozen other messages I'd enjoy relaying to Mike Pence, but that's neither here nor there. You know I prefer to stay out of these little political spats which do nothing to bridge divides. I prefer to ramp divides. Fuck those damned bridges. They know not what is good for them.
Be Careful or You Could Fall for Some Tricks Today
Does that mean I'm getting laid???? What's the problem here? Other than it's forty minutes past midnight and I've still got over 23 hours left in the day. Am I supposed to somehow just fall asleep knowing full well that at some point I'ze gonna get laid today?
I'll tell you what's not tricky. This Judas Priest album, Nostradamus.
"Open my heart, as a new day has dawned.
I see your light on the wings of a dove
Lifting me up, as the dark clouds retreat
My courage transcends and you make me complete
Open my heart, with the advent of spring
I am reborn, with the love that you bring"
What's also not tricky, is this dope new single I'm dropping, "Forty Minutes Past Midnight"! B side will be "Well, Guess This Isn't Happening".
An Eye for an Eye Makes the Whole World Blind
Or, just for fun, we won't go blind. How's that sound instead? Perhaps we can all see just as well as we are seeing right now, and then, maybe one day, we'll get Basix Lasix and realize that all this time we could have been something other than a dipshit. How awesome would that be? Just use the most common, basic tenets of being a decent human and we'd all be pretty good I think. Too many folks chose the Racix Lasix course instead. That's too bad. Some would say shame. I'm going to say Shame Bad.
Why do I say Shame Bad?
I was hoping you'd ask! Please tune into Public Access Channel 57 this Friday night at 9:30 PM for the debut of my new show, "Shame Bad! Bowsa Yowza!". It will be me doing all of Sinbad's best comedy standup routines! I guarantee this will be just as hilarious as Sinbad doing his own Sinbad routines! Seriously, I guarantee that. I do.
I lied.
Tune in anyway!
Life is a Play. It's Not it's Length, but it's Performance that Counts
I bet my play would be way more popular than all of your plays. Porn content is always more popular than whatever family friendly play you'd be performing. That's not where the benefits stop, either. Mine would also most likely resemble some sort of Jazzercise class. Not exactly sure if I even know what a Jazzercise class resembles, but my play would definitely require a rather intense aerobic exercise element. So right there. Porn and exercise. You can't beat that...unless, and god damnit!...you can't...uhhhhhhhh...your porn/play is better than mine, isn't it? I fucking knew I should've hired Mother to play lead.
Je suis au bout de ma vie
Ma tâche est finie
Je passe de ce monde à un autre
Mes prémonitions survivront
Prenez garde à mes paroles
Par ce qu'elles adviendront
Le patrimoine que j'ai laissé
L'avenir de l'humanité
MrrojaMrMnItseRecaeP
Listening to Nostradamus, you?
Wishing I was listening to Nostradamus.
You and everyone else, my friend. You and everyone else.
What better reason to write one of these old, familiar fortune cookie blogs, right?
Nostradamus was all about the fortunes.
Let's see, what do we have here...
Accident is the Mother of Invention
Okay...gonna start with that one, huh? Thanks.
Did you know the opposite of this phrase is "Invention of Mother the is Accident"? Remove one word and the result is what I would question, if I had a very thick Italian accent, Mike Pence about. "Invention of Mother is Accident"? Following immediately with "No?" I suppose after I got that one out of the way, I'd probably have thought of a few dozen other messages I'd enjoy relaying to Mike Pence, but that's neither here nor there. You know I prefer to stay out of these little political spats which do nothing to bridge divides. I prefer to ramp divides. Fuck those damned bridges. They know not what is good for them.
Be Careful or You Could Fall for Some Tricks Today
Does that mean I'm getting laid???? What's the problem here? Other than it's forty minutes past midnight and I've still got over 23 hours left in the day. Am I supposed to somehow just fall asleep knowing full well that at some point I'ze gonna get laid today?
I'll tell you what's not tricky. This Judas Priest album, Nostradamus.
"Open my heart, as a new day has dawned.
I see your light on the wings of a dove
Lifting me up, as the dark clouds retreat
My courage transcends and you make me complete
Open my heart, with the advent of spring
I am reborn, with the love that you bring"
What's also not tricky, is this dope new single I'm dropping, "Forty Minutes Past Midnight"! B side will be "Well, Guess This Isn't Happening".
An Eye for an Eye Makes the Whole World Blind
Or, just for fun, we won't go blind. How's that sound instead? Perhaps we can all see just as well as we are seeing right now, and then, maybe one day, we'll get Basix Lasix and realize that all this time we could have been something other than a dipshit. How awesome would that be? Just use the most common, basic tenets of being a decent human and we'd all be pretty good I think. Too many folks chose the Racix Lasix course instead. That's too bad. Some would say shame. I'm going to say Shame Bad.
Why do I say Shame Bad?
I was hoping you'd ask! Please tune into Public Access Channel 57 this Friday night at 9:30 PM for the debut of my new show, "Shame Bad! Bowsa Yowza!". It will be me doing all of Sinbad's best comedy standup routines! I guarantee this will be just as hilarious as Sinbad doing his own Sinbad routines! Seriously, I guarantee that. I do.
I lied.
Tune in anyway!
Life is a Play. It's Not it's Length, but it's Performance that Counts
I bet my play would be way more popular than all of your plays. Porn content is always more popular than whatever family friendly play you'd be performing. That's not where the benefits stop, either. Mine would also most likely resemble some sort of Jazzercise class. Not exactly sure if I even know what a Jazzercise class resembles, but my play would definitely require a rather intense aerobic exercise element. So right there. Porn and exercise. You can't beat that...unless, and god damnit!...you can't...uhhhhhhhh...your porn/play is better than mine, isn't it? I fucking knew I should've hired Mother to play lead.
Je suis au bout de ma vie
Ma tâche est finie
Je passe de ce monde à un autre
Mes prémonitions survivront
Prenez garde à mes paroles
Par ce qu'elles adviendront
Le patrimoine que j'ai laissé
L'avenir de l'humanité
MrrojaMrMnItseRecaeP
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