Or so I'd like to believe. The first part is true, the second part not so much, at least not yet. It's surely happening slowly but surely, but not quite fast enough. Woke up this morning to a dream/nightmare where I was in the process of packing up all of my stuff and getting ready to move out. Not out of my new place, but out of the old place. Funny how dreams work. All the parts of the relationship were the same, but the apartment was nothing like the old one. More like some sort of shit building I inhabited during my college days. There were a lot of books to pack up and at some point I realized I'd have to do a lot of cleaning.
Kind of reminds me of the time I went away for the weekend to the Lake of the Ozarks with some friends in college. It was a fun weekend of drinking and swimming and jet skiing and boating. Got back on Sunday night tired and sunburnt only to find a note from my landlord on the door reminding me that I needed to vacate the premises by the morning. FUCK! Forgot all about my lease ending. So instead of a night of recovery, I spent all evening packing everything and cleaning the whole apartment. Fortunately my friends Heather and Amber had moved into the same apartment complex earlier that week or weekend so I moved all my stuff over to their apartment and stayed there for a few days. This actually worked out well for them, not only because I'd be there, but because their third roommate, who they didn't really want to room with, got very pissed off that I was there and decided not to move in. Funny how things like that work out.
Anyway right before I woke up from the dream last night, I noticed that there was a small bag of bathroom/cosmetics lying on the bed, so I opened it up and was about to smell the perfume that I had bought her a while back. Fortunately my olfactory nerves didn't have the chance to partake in that memory as I woke up at that moment. Some memories are best left in the past. Well all memories are probably best left in the past as that's where they have to be. There's no such thing as a memory in the present, unless you hang onto them too long, which I have done over and over. But like I said, the longer time passes the easier it becomes. Now if my subconscious will just play along and help me out. Perhaps I could dream of something a bit more pleasant tonight. Who knows...maybe I also dreamt of pleasant things last night and had the misfortune of having that be the last in line?
Anyway...this beat goes on. And on and on. And on and on. And on and on. On and on and on and on thanks to The Kings. And now some Zeppelin..."Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay. But now it's time for me to go." Of course the leaves aren't falling anymore, as it's spring time and all life starts anew.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Fortunate One
Good things are coming to you in due course of time.
Due course of time? What the hell kind of vague time frame is that? As if I have that kind of time on my hands to wait for good things? I'm fucking 37 years old now. My time on this planet is coming rapidly to a close. I can't have a fortune that promises me something in the future, as there may not be one. Okay whatever. I guess I'll just wait for these good things to come in due course of time and in the meantime, I'll sit and do nothing while waiting.
You will always be surrounded by true friends.
You know I've often wondered about this. What is a true friend and how do you really know whether they are true or not. I've had very good friends who did some odd things every now and again which made me wonder how true of a friend they actually were, but I suppose it all worked out in the end.
Anyway the title of this post was not only referencing the two fortunes I received from my Chinese food last night, but also the fact that I now have a whopping three people following this blog. I feel very fortunate to have this kind of support a mere two/three years into this project. With this kind of popularity this blog will soon be taking over the blogosphere. I don't know how I'll react to this kind of success, but I'm sure it won't change me all that much. Perhaps I'll be able to hire someone to write jibberish in my place so I can concentrate on doing nothing. Yeah that's the ticket. Perhaps I'll steal more lines from Jon Lovitz and force my hired help to laugh. Well I'll have to think about all this some more, but for now...bed time. Thanks for your support folks.
Due course of time? What the hell kind of vague time frame is that? As if I have that kind of time on my hands to wait for good things? I'm fucking 37 years old now. My time on this planet is coming rapidly to a close. I can't have a fortune that promises me something in the future, as there may not be one. Okay whatever. I guess I'll just wait for these good things to come in due course of time and in the meantime, I'll sit and do nothing while waiting.
You will always be surrounded by true friends.
You know I've often wondered about this. What is a true friend and how do you really know whether they are true or not. I've had very good friends who did some odd things every now and again which made me wonder how true of a friend they actually were, but I suppose it all worked out in the end.
Anyway the title of this post was not only referencing the two fortunes I received from my Chinese food last night, but also the fact that I now have a whopping three people following this blog. I feel very fortunate to have this kind of support a mere two/three years into this project. With this kind of popularity this blog will soon be taking over the blogosphere. I don't know how I'll react to this kind of success, but I'm sure it won't change me all that much. Perhaps I'll be able to hire someone to write jibberish in my place so I can concentrate on doing nothing. Yeah that's the ticket. Perhaps I'll steal more lines from Jon Lovitz and force my hired help to laugh. Well I'll have to think about all this some more, but for now...bed time. Thanks for your support folks.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Morning Bus Ride
I made the rookie mistake of catching the first bus to go by this morning even though I knew damn well there was going to be another one right behind it. I'm not sure if that decision had anything to do with the woman with nice legs climbing into the bus right before I did, but regardless, I followed her lead. Paid my fare and walked to the back to find one seat available so I squeezed myself and my backpack and my pool cue in between two folks who were no doubt happy to share their space with such a fine looking gentleman (you'll understand in a bit) like myself.
Well my comfort was soon shattered when I noticed an older looking woman standing near my seat. I thought to myself that she wasn't really all that old. Certainly not old enough to need this seat, but my conscience acquiesced and I offered up my seat to her and she readily accepted. Good deed for the day finished not more than 45 minutes after waking up. Not too bad.
Now I found myself standing in the unenviable position on the stairs leading up to the back of the bus. This is no doubt one of the worst spots for trying to remain upright. Fortunately that also didn't last long as a rather boisterous woman soon left her seat and forced me down and right out the bus so she could get on with her morning. Stepping back onto the bus, I was now situated right near the exit doors, which happens to also be not the greatest of standing options due to the people exiting those doors every stop or so. I made the most of it by enjoying my iPod and peering over some woman's shoulder in order to ascertain what she was reading on her Kindle. I wasn't quite successful at that, but she seemed to be reading some sort of self help book as there were bullet points and some helpful suggestions on life...none of which I can recall at the moment and apparently none of which I will be using in trying to better myself. Opportunity lost.
Shortly thereafter the stench of cat litter permeated my immediate standing area. I'm guessing it was the slightly overweight, reddish-blonde, curly-haired woman who had recently found her way towards the back of the bus, but I wasn't positive. Needless to say I don't understand how one can reek of cat litter, unless of course, you live in a closet with several cats, most of which are on the verge of dying. My thoughts of cat litter soon ended though as the rear doors opened up and some middle aged man burst through them with his rolling luggage cart, pushing me and the woman with the Kindle further into the litter stench. When the bus driver motioned to him and let him know he couldn't enter the bus through those doors, he defiantly raised his hand along with his bus card and replied, "it's okay I have an unlimited ride bus pass". I had to chuckle at that and the bus driver told him he had to exit the bus and enter the front, which was already jam packed with people. My gain in available space was now their loss up front.
Exiting the bus at Milwaukee avenue I crossed Chicago Avenue so I could begin the morning wait to see just how long it would take for the very unreliable #56 bus. I had only stood there a few moments when the man with the rolling luggage cart, who wasn't well versed in Chicago bus travel etiquette disgustedly said, "Fifteen minutes?!". Knowing exactly what he meant I asked if that was the next Milwaukee bus arrival. He said yes, I commented on the schizophrenic nature of that line, wished him a good day, and headed across the street into the depths of the subway system.
Well my comfort was soon shattered when I noticed an older looking woman standing near my seat. I thought to myself that she wasn't really all that old. Certainly not old enough to need this seat, but my conscience acquiesced and I offered up my seat to her and she readily accepted. Good deed for the day finished not more than 45 minutes after waking up. Not too bad.
Now I found myself standing in the unenviable position on the stairs leading up to the back of the bus. This is no doubt one of the worst spots for trying to remain upright. Fortunately that also didn't last long as a rather boisterous woman soon left her seat and forced me down and right out the bus so she could get on with her morning. Stepping back onto the bus, I was now situated right near the exit doors, which happens to also be not the greatest of standing options due to the people exiting those doors every stop or so. I made the most of it by enjoying my iPod and peering over some woman's shoulder in order to ascertain what she was reading on her Kindle. I wasn't quite successful at that, but she seemed to be reading some sort of self help book as there were bullet points and some helpful suggestions on life...none of which I can recall at the moment and apparently none of which I will be using in trying to better myself. Opportunity lost.
Shortly thereafter the stench of cat litter permeated my immediate standing area. I'm guessing it was the slightly overweight, reddish-blonde, curly-haired woman who had recently found her way towards the back of the bus, but I wasn't positive. Needless to say I don't understand how one can reek of cat litter, unless of course, you live in a closet with several cats, most of which are on the verge of dying. My thoughts of cat litter soon ended though as the rear doors opened up and some middle aged man burst through them with his rolling luggage cart, pushing me and the woman with the Kindle further into the litter stench. When the bus driver motioned to him and let him know he couldn't enter the bus through those doors, he defiantly raised his hand along with his bus card and replied, "it's okay I have an unlimited ride bus pass". I had to chuckle at that and the bus driver told him he had to exit the bus and enter the front, which was already jam packed with people. My gain in available space was now their loss up front.
Exiting the bus at Milwaukee avenue I crossed Chicago Avenue so I could begin the morning wait to see just how long it would take for the very unreliable #56 bus. I had only stood there a few moments when the man with the rolling luggage cart, who wasn't well versed in Chicago bus travel etiquette disgustedly said, "Fifteen minutes?!". Knowing exactly what he meant I asked if that was the next Milwaukee bus arrival. He said yes, I commented on the schizophrenic nature of that line, wished him a good day, and headed across the street into the depths of the subway system.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Why Am I Reading This?
So I finished reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens a week or so ago. It had been sitting on my bookshelf for many years so I decided to see what it was all about. I'm still not sure I know what it was all about because there were so many times I had no idea what I was reading. Whole paragraphs and pages passed by without me having any clue what was actually going on in the story. In the end I believe I got the gist of the story and a Google search helped me to understand what I may have missed.
Now I decided to read The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. Not sure where I got this book, but it too has been sitting on the bookshelf for a while. Needless to say this one also has me quite confused as the characters use language that makes no sense to my brain. A few consecutive pages were filled with people saying they were "tight". Over and over this adjective was used and I'm guessing that it meant drunk, but I'm not completely convinced. Just checked the online Merriam-Webster's dictionary and indeed that's what it means. The sixth definition is "somewhat drunk".
Now if I could just figure out what the rest of the text means, I might start to enjoy the book a bit more. I've never read anything by Hemingway, but his style is a bit odd. Lots of descriptions are given of the streets and the country, but they don't really give a good sense of what he's describing. At least not to me. He's no John Steinbeck, that's for sure. Perhaps it's just this book though. According to the last page of the book, other Hemingway classics are available at your local bookstore or by mail. I can fill out the form and for just $4.95 have another copy of this book mailed to me...not including the $1.50 for postage and handling costs. I bet Amazon can't beat that price. Crap. This deal expired on December 1st, 1987.
Now I decided to read The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. Not sure where I got this book, but it too has been sitting on the bookshelf for a while. Needless to say this one also has me quite confused as the characters use language that makes no sense to my brain. A few consecutive pages were filled with people saying they were "tight". Over and over this adjective was used and I'm guessing that it meant drunk, but I'm not completely convinced. Just checked the online Merriam-Webster's dictionary and indeed that's what it means. The sixth definition is "somewhat drunk".
Now if I could just figure out what the rest of the text means, I might start to enjoy the book a bit more. I've never read anything by Hemingway, but his style is a bit odd. Lots of descriptions are given of the streets and the country, but they don't really give a good sense of what he's describing. At least not to me. He's no John Steinbeck, that's for sure. Perhaps it's just this book though. According to the last page of the book, other Hemingway classics are available at your local bookstore or by mail. I can fill out the form and for just $4.95 have another copy of this book mailed to me...not including the $1.50 for postage and handling costs. I bet Amazon can't beat that price. Crap. This deal expired on December 1st, 1987.
Monday, March 7, 2011
New Post!
I started writing a post about this weekend, but it wasn't coming together, so perhaps this more non-specific title post will help me move things along. So far so good...two sentences already.
I went out to Geneva, IL this past Saturday to celebrate my Aunt Gert's 90th birthday. Ninety years. That's a long, long time to be alive. I'm 37 now and it feels as if my life is just about over, so I'm not sure how one gets through 90 of these years. I suppose if I'd stop looking at the half empty glass every now and again, that could mean that I still have 53 more years before I'm that age. That's a lot of time to figure out what to do with life and possibly there will even be some leftover time to start doing whatever has been figured out.
Anyway it was a fine, fine birthday celebration and nice to spend some time with the family. Unfortunately I was a bit out of sorts due to a long night of gin and tonics and winning at various board games. Okay I only won the 1986 board game edition of Wheel of Fortune , but I also won two games of catchphrase as well...along with some help from my excellent teammates. What I'm trying to say is that I dominated, but I was certainly feeling it in the morning when I forced myself out of my warm, cozy bed only to find the cold reality of life facing me square in the face. I stared back at it for a minute and then started the shower.
But enough with all that...
So my Aunt Gert is my Godmother, and has been ever since my parents bestowed that grand honor upon her. Guess that would have been back in 1974, which was just about 37 years ago. It was nice to sit and chat with her for a while as I haven't seen or heard from her in the three and a half years since her husband, Bill (my godfather) passed away. Shame on me for not communicating with her, but half of the blame must lie with her as well, correct? Incorrect actually, I was just trying to make myself feel better.
Anyway I ended up telling her about when I was in grade school and they bought me a little pocket calculator for Christmas or my Birthday perhaps. Now you may not think a little kid would be all that happy about a calculator for a gift, but I was pretty darned happy as I had previously spent some time using the one my Uncle Bill owned. The thing was pretty tiny for those days and gold and well, it reeked of power and money and luxury. Okay I probably didn't really think that, but it was cool. Needless to say I brought it into Chicago the next weekend and due to my Father's persuasion left it there with him to use while I was back home. That was the last time I ever saw that calculator. On my return trip into the city, I was told that it was lost or some other stupid bullshit excuse. Several hours were spent that first weekend combing up and down the alley hoping to find the "lost" calculator. All for naught. It was gone and a lifetime of disappointing math test scores took it's place.
So I'm not sure what my Aunt thought of the story, but for some reason I wanted to tell her. Actually that reason was because I don't know if I ever told them what happened to it in the first place. I can't recall if I just tried to pretend it wasn't missing or if I let them know my Dad had thrown it out in some sort of manic depressive rage. I'm guessing I didn't tell them that, and the guilt has been weighing on my conscience for many, many years. Needless to say I almost never let my Dad borrow anything from me these days. His loss as I have some cool stuff that I'm sure he'd like.
Well that was my Saturday. Well it was only about 5 hours of my Saturday, but that was the most interesting part. Perhaps you won't agree after reading this blog post, but whatever.
I went out to Geneva, IL this past Saturday to celebrate my Aunt Gert's 90th birthday. Ninety years. That's a long, long time to be alive. I'm 37 now and it feels as if my life is just about over, so I'm not sure how one gets through 90 of these years. I suppose if I'd stop looking at the half empty glass every now and again, that could mean that I still have 53 more years before I'm that age. That's a lot of time to figure out what to do with life and possibly there will even be some leftover time to start doing whatever has been figured out.
Anyway it was a fine, fine birthday celebration and nice to spend some time with the family. Unfortunately I was a bit out of sorts due to a long night of gin and tonics and winning at various board games. Okay I only won the 1986 board game edition of Wheel of Fortune , but I also won two games of catchphrase as well...along with some help from my excellent teammates. What I'm trying to say is that I dominated, but I was certainly feeling it in the morning when I forced myself out of my warm, cozy bed only to find the cold reality of life facing me square in the face. I stared back at it for a minute and then started the shower.
But enough with all that...
So my Aunt Gert is my Godmother, and has been ever since my parents bestowed that grand honor upon her. Guess that would have been back in 1974, which was just about 37 years ago. It was nice to sit and chat with her for a while as I haven't seen or heard from her in the three and a half years since her husband, Bill (my godfather) passed away. Shame on me for not communicating with her, but half of the blame must lie with her as well, correct? Incorrect actually, I was just trying to make myself feel better.
Anyway I ended up telling her about when I was in grade school and they bought me a little pocket calculator for Christmas or my Birthday perhaps. Now you may not think a little kid would be all that happy about a calculator for a gift, but I was pretty darned happy as I had previously spent some time using the one my Uncle Bill owned. The thing was pretty tiny for those days and gold and well, it reeked of power and money and luxury. Okay I probably didn't really think that, but it was cool. Needless to say I brought it into Chicago the next weekend and due to my Father's persuasion left it there with him to use while I was back home. That was the last time I ever saw that calculator. On my return trip into the city, I was told that it was lost or some other stupid bullshit excuse. Several hours were spent that first weekend combing up and down the alley hoping to find the "lost" calculator. All for naught. It was gone and a lifetime of disappointing math test scores took it's place.
So I'm not sure what my Aunt thought of the story, but for some reason I wanted to tell her. Actually that reason was because I don't know if I ever told them what happened to it in the first place. I can't recall if I just tried to pretend it wasn't missing or if I let them know my Dad had thrown it out in some sort of manic depressive rage. I'm guessing I didn't tell them that, and the guilt has been weighing on my conscience for many, many years. Needless to say I almost never let my Dad borrow anything from me these days. His loss as I have some cool stuff that I'm sure he'd like.
Well that was my Saturday. Well it was only about 5 hours of my Saturday, but that was the most interesting part. Perhaps you won't agree after reading this blog post, but whatever.
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