Melon(choly)?

One of the first indications that summer has arrived here in Chicago is when old, beat-up pickup trucks, filled with watermelons, are spotted parked along the side of the street. Perhaps they aren't all old and beat-up, but who really pays that much attention, when you know that they're filled with so many pounds of deliciousness? In my opinion, there is no better summer fruit than a plump, succulent watermelon. In fact, I can't think of any other fruit that even comes close to signifying the oncoming warmth of summertime. Perhaps there is, but for these purposes, let's just ignore the others.

There's a certain satisfaction when you carry home some fifteen pound behemoth watermelon. It's a feat of strength that not everyone can accomplish. The physically weak will easily wilt under that much weight, and the mentally weak will head home with a cantaloupe. Pussies. 

Now I suppose you could purchase one of those smaller, less impressive baby watermelons, but let's be honest, what you're really doing is purchasing a late term abortion watermelon. That watermelon was not given the chance to reach maturity, but you'll be more than happy to take it home (in a bag), chop it up, and serve it to your kids for a snack. Shame on you! That's disgusting. 

On the other hand, perhaps you'd just like to buy pre-sliced watermelon from the refrigerated section in the produce department. If you're this person, please stop reading my blog. 

So perhaps you're wondering what the hell is the point, Dave? I'm also wondering that right about now, but there is one. My roommate, Andrew, brought home a watermelon to share and I finally got around to taking a knife to it so I could enjoy it's sweet, delicious red flesh. Not really enjoy in the eating sense of the word, but more in the curious with a camera type of enjoyment. You see, he brought this watermelon home at least 8 or 9 months ago. Now having previous experience chopping up old watermelons, I knew what to expect, and I was not disappointed. 

Here's the first, not yet chopped up picture. Note the facial features on this watermelon. It's rather eerie and ghostlike, but that's what you'd expect from a watermelon, which was not allowed to advance to the birth stage. Yes, he brought home one of those small, baby, late-term abortion melons. 

And here's what it looks like after chopping it down the middle and exposing it's inner melon. Not exactly the usual crisp, sweet flesh you'd normally find, is it? 

And finally, here's another picture of the face, this time mangled a bit from having sliced it open. 

So what have we learned? I have absolutely no idea, what you've learned, but I've learned, once again, that old, rotting watermelons are kinda gross, yet fascinating at the same time.