Hi Ya! Sushi Fortune.

To be honest, I didn't realize that sushi restaurants handed out fortune cookies, but apparently this one does. My brother Dan has asked me countless times to accompany him to an all you can eat sushi restaurant over by Martyr's and most of the time, I've declined the invitation, but a few weeks ago, I didn't.

I should have.

That's no fault of the quality of the restaurant or the quality of the sushi. It was just that the restaurant wasn't going to be open all that long and I guess I'm just too old to sit and stuff appetizers and seaweed salad and nigiri and sushi down the gullet as fast as...perhaps that 400 pound dude Trump said might be infiltrating the DNC servers. Now I don't know if that hacker was a fan of sushi, but if he really was 400 pounds, I'm going to guess he might have fared better than I did that night.

Super fatty white tuna or whatever it is called is still my favorite.

I don't care if that's racist or not. I can't help it.

And obviously, I'm no stranger to body shaming creatures of the sea.

Near the end of this fast paced culinary shenanigan, not only was I lamenting my last order, but upon it's arrival, I was eating the fish and stuffing all the rice into a napkin...which eventually ended up being pocketed in my hoodie so we were assured no extra charges. Yeah, I know...Dan and I only eat sushi at the classiest of sushi joints. Go fuck yourself if you're judging us right now. And yes, I threw that balled up rice into the nearest garbage can once we exited the restaurant.

So here's the deets on that fortune.

Daily Numbers 2, 7, 4

Lotto Six #'s 55, 82, 64, 9, 36, 20

It's that desperate that they are actually just giving out the lotto numbers as opposed to just a string of lucky numbers? Just one more reason for me to despise whatever this is we've all come to recognize as existence.

And the fortune...

A Modest Man Never Talks of Himself.

Not true at all, but I understand where this sushi sage is coming from.

Sometimes you need to talk about yourself and your own experiences in order to convey some sort of wisdom to another. However, and this is where I agree with this fish finder, most of the time, it's not necessary.

I've been subject to a few experiences over the past few years that when I need to talk about them to someone else most of the time as soon as I'm done expressing a bit of why I need to talk, they've already spent most of that time not listening to my words, but thinking about what similar experiences they've had and just how they are going to tell me all about those experiences which I really couldn't give a shit about, as those experiences are nothing like what I'm experiencing and have just about no relevance to my desire to escape the mental abyss I'm all too easily cascading down.

I get it. It's just natural to throw out your own experience, but for the sake of whoever you are talking to just don't for at least seven minutes after you realize someone needs to talk about whatever the heck they need to talk about. Just listen. Just listen. Suck up your need to talk about your own experience and let that person vent for just a bit. I'm only asking seven minutes of your time. Most likely, after seven minutes, enough heartache or sorrow or anger will have been expressed that you can finally breathe easy and let your own narcissistic freak flag fly. Let it out. Shout out your personal understanding. Let it out.

And if, by chance, it only takes them three minutes to vent, I'd suggest you stay silent for the remaining four minutes. That will give you both plenty of time to fully understand the depth of what's been presented. For the venter, that four minutes will most likely allow for the realization that whatever they were bitching about really wasn't that important if it only lasted three minutes, and for the listener, you'll have four minutes with which to come up with something, anything to tear this muthersucker complainer a new one to let him or her know they shouldn't waste your time like this!

Or you can just spend four minutes trying to cower down inside their shoes where the fear smells the most.

I'd suggest the latter, rather than the former.

Now I just need to take my own advice and put it into use.

I try. I do try, but it's not always so easy.

Nothing seems to be easy these days.

I'm not sure if I'm here to learn from others and live life to the fullest, or if I'm just here to be some sort of example (good or bad) to someone else.

Right now, I feel like the latter.

I wish I was EZ Dave Haines right now. That dude must've had it so easy.

Sleazily Easy at that.