Fortunate One or Fortunate Son? Probably Both, but Definitely the Latter.

The last thing I want to do right now is bust open a Chinese cookie and eat it, but I am going to do just that because I feel the need to write something for someone, but what I actually want to write isn't going to do either of us any good at the moment so this will have to suffice. I'm just trying to help out a bit in some small, yet hopefully significant way, because this person has always been there for me and I'll be damned if I'm not going to do the same at this point.

Well that was surprising. Not sure when I got this cookie, but it's not nearly as stale as I was expecting. Will small wonders never cease?

You are the evening star in someone's romantic eyes.
Well wasn't expecting that one. No doubt it has to be true, but I'm a gonna just let this one pass and not think too much into it. The only Evening Star I'm concerned about at the moment, and to be honest, I'm not at all concerned with it, is the great song, Evening Star,  off of the Killing Machine album by Judas Priest. You may know it as the Hell Bent for Leather album. Just a little known band out of Birmingham, England. No big deal if you don't know who they are. No big deal that you've chosen to live such a sheltered, worthless life. That's what's so great about America. We can choose that sort of thing for ourselves. And if we do make such a choice, no one even has to bother to care all that much about our choice. But I do, I certainly do. So if you want a copy of Hell Bent for Leather, just ask and I'll deliver the goods.

Lucky #'s 3, 24, 7, 54, 33, 11

Okay this cookie isn't going to be so forgiving as the last...

Geezus, I was right, but it's not so much the staleness, it's the starting to taste way too much like a Communion host at church. That's not a taste I needed right now. And yes, I know some of you are thinking, that's not a taste you ever need Dave, but at the same time a different set of readers are thinking, oh, that's definitely a taste you need right now. I don't know if either of you are correct.

Okay, what's the fortune say?

Anything worth doing can be done. 
How I sort of despise these generic fortunes. That's incorrect, I do despise them. The only reason I buy Chinese food is because I not only want a delicious meal, but I also want the thousands and thousands of years of wisdom that the Chinese have mastered to somehow make its way into my being. If I wanted to mentally digest some shitty Napoleon Hill 20th century quote, I'd just eat some salty ham and pretzels. And believe me, there's nothing wrong with salty ham and pretzels...except for the high sodium content in the ham and the worthless carbohydrates in the pretzels that will convert into sugar way too quickly in your system and lead to diabetes. But we don't have to worry about that, because that meddling in our lives first lady, Michelle Obama, will soon be out on the streets! Damn her for having the audacity to try and help your kids get a meal during school that isn't completely devoid of nutritional value. Who cares if kids are obese these days and that diabetes is out of control and that proper nutrition is just a stupid liberal idea shoved down our desperate for some nutrition throats by douchebag leftist communist vegans! We all did just fine with shitty meals back in grade school, right? Our kids are doing just fine. The kids are alright! Just pump 'em up with a new prescription as soon as it's ready for the almighty free market.

I think I got off track there.

The point I'm trying to make is that anything worth doing can be done, but it can also be done very shoddily or it can be done well. Whattya say we try to do these things well? And, at the same time, not be such dicks to each other? Can we all agree on that, at least in the very small moment that it took to read the sentence?

Maybe?

Just maybe?

Pretty please with plenty of high fructose corn syrup on top?

Lucky #. Ha! Hold on before I get to that. Turned this fortune over to read the lucky numbers and the Chinese word they are forcing me to learn is - Salt.  Okay, it's official...small wonders will definitely never cease.

Lucky #'s 19, 10, 36, 50, 1, 49

Take care.

Quick Fortune

I bought some Chinese food a few weeks back and I received two fortune cookies for my effort. Personally I would have preferred at least one more, but I don't own the restaurant and I didn't specify that preference when I placed the order, so I really can't be choosy about how many fortune cookies they casually throw in the bag. Hours later, after consuming a good portion of that chinese food, I decided to eat one of the two cookies. I didn't just grab the first one I saw, I contemplated the decision and then finally carefully chose one of the cookies to eat and read. I always completely eat the cookie before I read the fortune. This is what the fortune had to tell me...

Let someone know how special they are to you. 

I posted a photo of it on Instagram, so I think I took care of letting whoever needed to know how special they were to me, know just how special they were to me through the magic of a slightly blurry photograph. Perhaps many people needed to know this, I have no idea. It's really neither here nor there at this point. You're all special to me in some sort of way that is unique to you and no one else. Well also unique to me I guess. I hope, maybe? Perhaps not. 

I opened up the other fortune cookie tonight. 

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. 

Interesting. 

I'm trying to remember the last time I was in a pool, but I'm drawing a blank. Anyway, there must have been a hell of a lot of fish in there, which is probably not all that sanitary or normal for most pools, but they must have been in there, otherwise this fortune is complete horseshit. 

And I can't believe that. 

Actually, I do remember the last time I was in a pool. It was last summer at some pool on the Northwest side of Chicago. I jumped off the high dive, which scared the crap out of me. I did it once and then decided that was good enough. Sometimes you have to take a chance and jump into the pool even though you have no interest in looking down to see what's below. I didn't want to look, but I did. I jumped anyway, mostly because I was next in line and would have looked like a complete pussy if I hung my head and walked backwards towards the ladder. But I wanted to jump, I just didn't want to look first.

I still don't want to look.

But I guess I have to.