Starting Over

"It's been too long since we took the time...".

A bit of John Lennon for you. Great song, maybe I'll listen to it, but actually I won't. Not at this time. Was just looking over my blog and reminiscing about the times way back when...when I actually used to write blogs. Those days seem to have passed, but they haven't, I've just retreated from writing for many reasons, none of which are actually decent. If there's one constant in my life, it's my ability to be inconsistent. I'm great at it. I suppose there are better things to be great at, but we all get what we sow and apparently, this is what I've sowed. It doesn't seem like much of a good thing, but who knows? It may very well turn out to be the best thing. The answer will reveal itself at some point or I'll just have to force the issue and unmask it myself.

It's 1:09 am on a Thursday night and normally I would have been in bed about 3.5 hours ago, but I took a few vacation days just to get away from work for a while. I didn't know it at the time when I requested these days off that it would come at a time when I was really, really, really happy to not be at work. You see, I've worked at this company for just about two and a half years and I've really actually enjoyed being there all this time, which isn't necessarily all that normal, especially in the printing industry. That's not to say I haven't been pissed off or annoyed from time to time...that sort of thing always happens, but this time I was actually pissed off for several days and didn't actually know what I was going to do about it. My responsibilities were changed and I wasn't happy about it. Actually, my responsibilities were shifted, not necessarily changed. I'm not going to go into specifics, as that's not really blog appropriate. It was just sort of shocking to finally not be happy about my situation at this company, that's all. I guess the good times just never last, eh?

I'll see what happens. In reality, this is actually the owners placing their trust in me that they know what they want me to do I will be able to do and I will be able to do it well. That's a good thing, but the specifics of that good thing kind of suck for me as far as work goes and as far as commutes go and as far as just enjoying the camaraderie at work goes. Oh well. I'll just have to suck it up and hope that it helps out the company and helps me out in the long run. Two and a half years ago I was hired to run a digital press they purchased. There was only so much work to do on that press so I started to learn how to run another printing press they had. Then they asked me to learn how to run a router, so I did that. Then they sent me to the warehouse to run the router over there and I did that for the next few months in the sweltering heat of summer. No A/C in the warehouse. Nine months after I was hired they asked me to train someone else to run the digital press so I could move into a production position, which is sort of a management/customer service/salesperson lackey job, so I did that. I've done everything they've ever asked of me and I guess that was valuable to some extent. They knew they could rely on me to get things done correctly and on time. They still know that, but this new situation still kind of sucks.

Let's hope it works out for the best. Guess I'll just have to make sure that it does. That's just what I do at work.

Not sure why I don't do the same in my personal life. My inconsistency at home doesn't really exist at work. It has gotten better at home, but it's still not the same. I guess when there are others who have control of my financial existence I tend to make sure I do what I can to ensure that that existence is secure. When I'm on my own at home I'm the only one that has a say in what I do or don't do. I have gotten better over the past couple years, that's for sure, but I'm not where I want to be. I may never be where I want to be as I'm extremely critical of myself most of the time. There are many blogs I've written that are just lying dormant because I just wasn't quite sure they were worth publishing. That's stupid. This is a blog for my friends and family and I'm pretty sure none of you give a shit if they aren't all ridiculously amazing.

Ha. As if any of them were ever ridiculously amazing. That's a high standard that is kind of stupid in this medium, but I'll settle for all of you just thinking they are entertaining enough to keep you reading 'til the end.

Or even halfway through I suppose.

That's not true. If that's as far as you can bother to get, I've failed.

Try, Try and Try again.

I can't blog.

There, I said it.

I can, I just sort of can't.

Everything I want to write about seems important enough that I actually want to write a good, serious, and still kinda humorous blog about the topic. I think I've started eight different blogs over the past month and I only finished a couple and didn't publish any of them. Okay, well I posted the one, but that was short and really wasn't necessarily worth all the time it may have taken for certain folks internet connections to pull in the small amount of data that was that blog.

You win some, you lose some, and sometimes you just do whatever the hell you need to do to make yourself content. Me writing a silly blog just to have one posted during the month of August was something that needed to be done.

So now I present you with this, hopefully better blog, which promises to break absolutely no new ground here in cyberspace!

I want you to pronounce that cyberspace! just like Stephen Colbert excitedly announced Jeb! Bush last night on the premiere of his new show. Jeb! Jeb! Jeb! I won't comment on his politics, but he comes across as likable enough for the most part. As for the excitement part, definitely, it's there. I'll be shocked if The Pleasure Chest isn't completely sold out of Jeb! Bush erotic Halloween costumes (for men and women) by mid to late October. I tell ya, I'll be hornswaggled by the ass of a mute goat. Needless to say, I'm pretty bullish on the PC's stock right now. Me say invest, and fast! Faster than a four legged roll of toilet paper curled up next to some succotash!

Oh yeah...Buban Bash party is Saturday, October 10th. Just wanted to get that out there before my lazy ass writes up an actual invitation. If you read this, you're invited.

Unless I don't have any idea who you are and your desperate attempts at finding out the location become way too obvious and encroach on our personal space and safety.

Eh, we're in the phone book. If you take the time to locate one of those and you have the wherewithall to actually find our address (hint...the books in alphabetical order) then of course you can come to the party. Welcome.

That was more than I had planned to write about that topic.

I've spent a good amount of time with friends that I love over the past few weeks. This was one blog topic I started and couldn't figure out. Just know that it was great seeing all of you and damnit, now I'm mad I didn't connect with that final friend in the mix. Dang. Anyway, seeing all of you, once again, did wonders for my soul. Thanks.

And to those I didn't see, but communicated with through the wonders of technology, thank you as well!

And to those that I didn't see and didn't communicate with, that's okay. Next time we'll be there for one another.

Oh, and I guess I was a bit disappointed in the Colbert debut. Didn't think it would be so similar to his Comedy Central show, so I was kinda torn due to my immense respect for him, because it was also so nice to see him in that familiar role once again. Opening night jitters probably. It'll smooth out eventually, at least for those of you who have a better internet connection than I do, or who watch on an actual television. Kinda choppy, and the five minutes of stupid commercials at one point didn't help either.

Air conditioning is nice.

My roommate Alex and I played some frisbee tonight. It was also nice. The frisbee has a pepperoni pizza painted on the topside. I don't know that that actually means anything in the long run, but I love frisbee and I love pizza so combining those two things into one activity was quite enjoyable.

I also don't know if using that that in a row in a sentence is poor formatting. Grammar and I never understood each other. We still don't.

Oh what's that I hear? Those stupid neighbors bitching about something once again. Nope. I thought that's what it was, but I guess it's just a couple of drunks arguing out in the alley. They've either passed out or moved on with their late night activities. All the best to both of you in your journeys.

I'll be at Riot Fest Friday night if any of you are going and want to share in the making of some future memory. Looking forward to Faith No More and whoever else might be playing that day. I should look that up sometime in the next two days.

Finally, to break from tradition, I present you this fortune...

Hold on while I open it up and eat it.

Seriously, hold on...give me a fucking minute here.

Okay got it.

Expect much of yourself and little of others.

That's kind of true, but also quite cynical. I liked it at first, then I didn't like it at second. Now I'm stuck at third and I don't know whether I should head for home or stay at third base, as the third base coach is really kind of an idiot and I wouldn't trust his direction more than I'd trust a horny walrus jostling around in a nest full of spider eggs.

Obviously this didn't get posted when I wrote it, as I still couldn't do it. I'll do it now. I'll figure out this bloggers block at some point. I'll figure out this everything sounds stupid when I go back and read it again at some point. That point isn't now, but I'll get there.

Have a good week.

Monday Night Musings

I just keep getting more and more clever with these post names. Or perhaps I'm just getting older and the synapses aren't quite firing quite as quickly.

I am getting old. My back has been hurting for almost a month now. Middle of the back. Not sure why it started. Not sure why it hasn't stopped. I've never had consistent back pain in my life, but now it's here and I'm going to need to do something about it. Fortunately I have an appointment with a new doctor next week. I'll ask her about it and perhaps she can give me some advice or refer me to someone who can. I blame it on the 15-20 pounds or so that I've lost in the last couple months. That fat belly of mine was keeping my spine in a beautiful state of equilibrium and I messed it all up with the not eating and then the transition to very healthy eating. I'm almost down to my wrestling weight. I'm not sure what that weight was, since I was never a wrestler, but I'm pretty sure I'm close to it. I did watch that one movie about wrestling though and I used to watch wrestling on TV back in the 80's. Also, I was invited to some sort of pudding wrestling match somewhere not too long ago, so that probably counts.

I didn't go.

I don't know that any of those things count for much at all.

After a small burst of blogging earlier this month, I've taken a break if you haven't noticed. Not that I planned on taking a break, or even wanted to take a break, but I had to do what I had to do and what I've had to do is get my body and mind in a better place. I've done a pretty good job at it so far and I've been quite productive for a good while now. I really don't understand how some folks get all the things done that they get done. They have the same 24 hours a day I have. I'm getting there. Just need to figure out the correct balance and continue to focus on the things that need to be done, and that I want to do, and not the things that would be fun to do, but are just counterproductive to the goal. Staying focused has never been an easy thing for me to do, but I'm working on it and I'm doing it more often than I have in a long time. There is no attraction without action, according to the information I've immersed myself in for the past couple months. Stay the course, focus and you'll receive whatever it is you want to receive. Or go way off course, as long as you're taking action and that's part of your plan.

Speaking of action, I took the action to go grab the space heater for my room after work today. I had gotten rid of it a week or so ago, as I figured I wouldn't be needing it anymore. That's what blankets are for, but I was wrong. My body is less blubberous these days and this sudden change in temperature has rendered my blanket theory to be quite premature and inaccurate. This Spring has been pretty decent so far, but I'm ready for some warmer temps. I suppose we're all ready for that, except for my brother Dan, who finally returned from his 8 month journey. I'm sure he had his fill of warmth and is happy to be back somewhere with winds that bite and cold that seeps through every layer. Probably not, but welcome back, "Daniel my brother...you are older than me do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal?"

Nothing better than scars that don't heal, but I'm glad you're back home. Well almost home, as he's still out in Batavia, but that's close enough I suppose.

Well time to go make my healthy lunch and breakfast for tomorrow! It's a half hour past my bedtime. Guess I'm not as old as I thought.

Tuesday Tidbits

How's that for a lame title? Pretty sure I could have tried harder, but sometimes, when the sun starts to disappear, my interest in blog post titles starts to wane. This is one of those times.

I was originally going to do a State of the Buban blog post, but I just don't know what that would entail, so I've decided to shelve it. Plus I tried to find a picture to use for it, and this is all I could come up with. Guess I haven't taken my picture since New Years.

Which makes me hope that certain folks will read this and contemplate the number of selfies they post on Facebook. Nobody gives a shit after a while. We understand that you love yourself more than most love their favorite pet who's about to be put out of it's misery like Old Shep, but turn the camera to something else besides your damned face every now and again...says the person who just posted a selfie. At least I didn't take the photo though. That probably doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of irony.

Anyway, it's your typical Tuesday night over here on the wrong side of town. Bob's doing his thing with the Midwest Books for Prisoners* gang. Greg was cooking some sort of taco dinner for that group and he did a hell of a job. I like tacos and all, but this ranks right up there with the best taco I've ever tasted. I'm scared to write that last sentence, as I'm still not sure how something with ground turkey meat could taste so good, but it did. Must have been the beans and the rice. Either way my taco world view has been forever changed/damaged.

Time to take my vitamins. I think I'm going to need one of those seven day vitamin keeper contraptions, to keep all this crap organized. I don't think they sell them large enough to hold these damn ginormous fish oil capsules, which are slightly smaller than the sardines my Father used to eat out of tin cans. Who am I kidding, I eat them too. I've also been known to pull spaghetti out of the garbage and slap it on top of my head. Don't judge me.

This is day two of washing my pillows. Day one was yesterday when two pillows were washed and dried. Day two is just like day one, except with different pillows. It's good to have clean pillows.

So I was contemplating moving this blog to another platform and I'm still contemplating that, but I changed some of the settings last night here on Blogger and I kind of like it. Makes me feel like I have a new blog, even though I don't. I am a little annoyed that when I click on my blog the blog name starts off in one of my least favorite fonts and then usually quickly switches over to the font I picked. I'll probably still change it over at some point, as I've got big plans for this here blog and I'm not sure Blogger will know what to do with me once I completely blow their socks off.

I don't even know why I would want to blow their socks off though. That seems like a pretty mean thing to do. Perhaps I'll just gently blow on their feet as they were probably standing all day and their feet and socks are kind of sweaty and perhaps a bit stanky. Maybe I'll just cool down their feet and then  lull them into a wonderfully soothing sense of serenity and calm. The path to getting what you want is paved with giving, happiness, joy and intent, so I won't literally blow their socks off, I'll soothe their socks off, and then the Universe will open up and I'll receive all that I desire.

Anyway things are looking up not just for me, but for all of you and for this Erased Chalkboard blog. Have yourselves a splendid evening. I need to go get those pillows and start the process of winding down. Early to bed, early to rise, makes Dave happy, wealthy and wise.


*Prisoners from the Midwest area send Bob letters asking for certain books or magazines and Bob and his merry band of cohorts cobble together what they can find which hopefully comes close to the request and send it off to wherever the prisoner is located. I've helped out a few times, but usually I'm blogging on Tuesday nights. That's a lie. Anyway, if you have any books you would like to donate, please let me know. You could also donate some money to pay for shipping costs if you're feeling oh so generous. Bob usually ends up paying for this out of his own pocket. He's a good guy like that. They do good things for the community here at First Trinity Lutheran Church.