Unveiled Fortunes

People find it difficult to resist your persuasive manner.
Damn right they do.

Never chase a dog into a dead-end alley.
That's good advice. Also, never chase a black bear back into its den. Chances are nothing good is going to come of doing something as foolish as that. And really, you shouldn't be hanging out in dead-end alleys anyway. If you want to hang out in an alley, pick a nice, brightly lit, open-ended alley in a nice neighborhood so you don't look so fucking weird. And stop chasing dogs for God's sake.

Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it. 
Now I feel weird about writing this blog, as I kind of think most of my readers are wise, but I realize my advice here is mostly just crap. So, uhhh...I guess do what you will with my advice. I'm not going to steer you in one direction or another, but just know that I wish you the best and only have your best intentions in mind.

A beautiful person is with you, confide your problems.
I'm the only one here in my room and yes, I'm beautiful and I'm a good person, but if you read my last blog post, you'd know that I'm kind of tired of confiding my problems with myself. I'm kind of tired of problems in general, that's why I'm working towards solutions. Jebus, this is supposed to be entertaining. No one cares about how beautiful I am. Or maybe it was the problem thing and confiding that you were caring about, I'm not sure. Either way, I'm still beautiful. Sorry if my beauty makes you envious.

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
Ahh...crap. I knew one of these was going to throw me for a loop and make me actually have to think for a minute. I guess a friend is just like an STD. A single virus dwelling in two different genital areas. Some friendships aren't meant to last. It's probably better that way. Get yourself some ointment.

Lucky numbers 27, 7, 36, 54, 22, 14

A merry heart does good like a medicine.
I got a tetanus shot and a whooping cough shot last week when I went to see my doctor. She listened to my heartbeat, but didn't say anything about whether it was a merry one. I don't get my test results back until later this week though, so I imagine there will be some info regarding how merry my heart is or isn't in the report. I'm going to guess, I'm on the low end of that spectrum, but I'm not a doctor, I just google stuff on the web for diagnoses and hope it's accurate. I know she managed to find a pulse though, so that seems like it's a favorable sign.

If you wish to see the best in others, show the best of yourself. 
Wish I had actually opened this fortune up and heeded its advice many, many months ago. Guess I'll just have to start doing that now. I've got a lot of best inside, I just don't communicate it all that well sometimes/quite often/most of time/way less often than is necessary. But perhaps, on the flip side, I'm just waiting for others to show the best in themselves and then I'll follow suit. So step up your game folks. I'm tired of waiting for your best self.